


Where The Fuck Is My Book

by casstayinmyass



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Han Solo, Fluff and Humor, He Is Literally The Embodiment Of (ง •̀_•́)ง, Jedi Mind Trick, Library Books, Luke Skywalker Is Smol and Angry, M/M, POV Luke Skywalker, Sexual Tension, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, almost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 09:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13521168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: Luke Skywalker is next on the waitlist for Ben Kenobi's new book about space. The person before him has had the damn book for two months, and Luke is fed up-- he's going to take matters into his own hands.





	Where The Fuck Is My Book

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me what this is
> 
>  
> 
> This is Luke getting obsessed and taking it out on the hot guy who has his book

Luke rested his elbows on the desk. 

"What have you got for me today, Watto?"

The stout, Italian librarian scowled at him. "Same as yesterday. Nothing!"

Luke sighed. "That's ridiculous, it's been two months, and every day you say the same thing. How long does it take for a book to be returned?"

"It takes as long as they take. Now scram. I see you enough during the week, I don't need you hanging around asking me questions I don't want to answer!"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, good to see you too Watto."

The librarian grunted in response, going back to his card stamping, and Luke scoffed to himself.

He had been waiting for this book forever-- _"Spacial Anomalies and Other Mysteries of the Galaxy"_ by renowned astrophysicist Ben Kenobi. Luke loved his work, and had even put this new book on hold, but the last person on the list had been hogging it for... god, it was 67 days now!

"Well, he's gonna have a hefty fine," Luke muttered, taking solace at least in this, and exited the library.

The next day, Luke tried again.

"Luke Skywalker. What part of "we will call you when the book comes in" do you not understand?"

"I'm sure I'm no great inconvenience to you," Luke huffed. "All you do is sit around all day." Watto growled, and Luke put up a hand. "Sorry. If you're so busy then, wouldn't you be glad I'd come in to pick it up, instead of you having to call me?"

Watto considered this. "Hmmm... convenience doesn't change the fact that the last person still hasn't returned the book yet."

"Well how long is he gonna take?!" Luke blurted. "I'm gonna be a skeleton by the time this guy brings it back!"

"This is a library. Keep your voice down."

Luke let out a frustrated noise. "Haven't you called him?"

"Like you said, Mr. Skywalker," Watto smirked, "I'm a very busy man."

Luke clenched his fist, and left the library; he was late to visit his sister anyway.

* * *

"What's got your bra in a twist?" the brunette smirked, taking out the tea bag from her drink.

"A book," Luke snapped.

"A book?" Leia frowned. "Oh no, you're not still talking about that space book, are you?"

"What's it to you?" Luke sighed. His twin gave him a look.

"You wanna be an astronaut or something?"

Luke looked at her over his cappuccino. "No, you know I wanna be a pilot. Doesn't change the fact that I think it's inconsiderate how long that asshole is keeping it for."

Leia shook her head. "You're a weirdo."

They drank in silence, Luke devising a plan.

* * *

"Alright, Watto."

It was three days later.

"Alright what?" Watto complained, "What are you alright-ing me about now?"

Luke slapped his library card down on the table with a meaningful stare. "You know what I'm here for. And if you don't have it, I'm going to him."

"You're what?"

"You heard me, I'm going to him."

"...You don't know his name."

"No. But you do. And you're going to give it to me." Watto laughed, and went back to his work. Luke grabbed him by the collar, and yanked him in close. "You will give me the man who has my book."

Watto gulped. "Fine! Fine, j-just let me go!" Luke let him go, and Watto growled, dusting himself off and checking the computer.

"Solo. Han Solo."

"And what's the address?"

"I can't--"

"Address!"

Watto nervously pulled up the file. "23 Isley Lane."

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Thank you."

With that, he left, got in his car, and drove. Isley Lane was in the Mos neighbourhood, which was literally across the city, but Luke was obsessed with finding out just who this guy thought he was.

Getting out, he looked at the little house. It wasn't all that special, just a regular place with a couple of broken shutters. Leia texted him.

_Meet up with me. I need help shopping for decorations for my new apartment._

Luke texted back. _Can't, busy doling out vigilante justice._

Leia wrote back: _?????!!!_

Luke ignored it as he marched right up to the door, knocking three times.

"I know you're in there, you lazy theif!" he shouted, his mouth getting the better of him. He knew he should be polite and civil, but dammit, it was almost three months he had been waiting for this book now. Maybe Leia was right... maybe it was stupid. But Luke was tenacious, and wasn't about to give up now.

"Alright, coming."

The voice was deep, and sounded bored. The door swung open, and Luke's jaw dropped a little. There, standing in his boxers, was a really attractive guy, trying to hold his dog back. He was tall, had curly brown hair, and looked as if he just woke up.

"I know you're looking for rent, but calling me a lazy thief is a little much. I told you I get paid on-" He finally turned around, and Luke lit up inside at the guy's soulful brown eyes. "Oh. Okay, I'll bite-- who are you, boy scouts?"

Luke realized that he had forgotten to be offended, and wiped the hazy grin off his face. "No! I'm looking for a book!"

"You a Mormon?"

"If I was a Mormon, I'd have the book _with_ me, wouldn't I?" Luke snapped.

"Easy kid," the guy chuckled, "You look like you wanna choke me. I'm just not into that kinda stuff." He gave a lopsided smile, and Luke fell in love a little.

"Will you just answer me?!" Luke shook his head, fists tightening.

"Hey, you punch me and I swear I'll be forced to let Chewie loose on you." His huge brown, shaggy dog let out a howl, and Luke stared at it apprehensively. "He's fine though, really. A big softie." The dog howled again, and the guy frowned down at it. "Yes you are, you just never show it."

"Look, can I just have my book?" Luke asked impatiently, averting his eyes from the man's tight tshirt.

"You haven't even told me the name of it yet. What, do you want Fifty Shades of Grey?" He snorted at his own joke. "Catch me at a better time and I'll act it out for you, kid."

Luke choked, and ran a hand through his hair. "It's a book about space!"

Han gave him a blank stare. "Space, huh?"

"Space! It's Ben Kenobi's new book!"

A flicker of realization suddenly crossed the man's face, and the blood drained from his face. "Oh, uh... hey, I'm Han. You wanna come in?" Luke scoffed, prepared to refuse, but Han's biceps were bulging and his smirk was so dirty, god... He nodded, and walked in. Han invited him into the living room.

"Sorry, looks like a bomb went off, but I haven't had much time to clean." He gestured down at himself. "Too busy having a lazy Sunday that you interrupted."

Luke looked down, finally coming down off his adrenaline. "Sorry."

"Ah, don't mention it. I needed something to do anyway other than watch porn and pretend I'm gonna clean the windows. You wanna drink?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks."

Luke sat down, and Han smirked, watching him. He was a cute guy, pretty attractive. He had the bluest eyes, and the nicest ass Han had ever seen on a man or woman... what was he here for again? A book?

"So, you wanna be an astronaut or something?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm just interested in space, okay?"

Han put his hands up, then he looked Luke up and down. "Y'know, you're pretty cute."

Luke's heart stopped. "I am?"

"Yeah," Han narrowed his eyes. "You got a sister?"

Luke sighed in disappointment. "Yeah. You want her number?"

Han shrugged. "Unless you're up for grabs." He was half joking, half digging-- if this guy was into him, he wanted to know it.

"I am!" Luke blurted, then paused. "Uhh... I mean, if you're interested, I'm... interested."

Han started to smile, walking over to him to hand him his drink. "I think we got ourselves a deal."

Luke got up, accepting it. "A what?" He was an inch away from Han's face.

"A date, kid."

"Oh." Luke blushed. Was this happening? "Okay."

Han smirked to himself. He had done it again-- distracted someone from his irresponsibility, and scored a hot date along the way. Luke's face suddenly changed. "Wait! Where's my book?"

Han grimaced. "Doesn't it technically belong to the library?" Luke crossed his arms, and Han sighed. "Sorry... I ran out of toilet paper, and..." Chewie barked, and Luke groaned, falling back into Han's couch. Han laughed a little, sheepishly. "Look, why didn't you just buy it if you wanted to read it so much?" Han ran a hand through his hair.

"It's on pre-order everywhere," Luke muttered.

Han sat back down, searching for a way to make the younger guy smile again. His smile was beautiful. "If you want, I can recite it to you while we bang."

Luke coughed, and there it was-- the smile. "That's... sure, that's fine."

From far, far away, Leia stared at her unanswered text, wondering if her brother had killed the poor bastard who took that book out. Evidently, Luke was doing quite the opposite.

**Author's Note:**

> Leia/Han is otp but this had to happen


End file.
